(There’s nothing wrong with carrying an antique mouse- look, she fits right in !) Berlin
You’ve been this way since you were two (home videos to prove it). Written with more then a touch of humor-Happy Friday!
- Your cats knock over your snow globe from Austria and you scream so loud your downstairs neighbor phones in a distress call and the cops show up only to find you covered in fake snow and sobbing while your cat’s green eyes peep out from the cage where you have banished them (possibly for good).
- When doing an airport transfer, you happen to book the flight out of Vienna instead of a direct flight, just so you can replace the said broken snow globe (authenticity is important! And that 8-hour glue repair job leaked the water, making a ring on your antique table, thus causing another catastrophe).
- You purposefully step AROUND your antique Persian rug to avoid wearing it out- you want to be able to hang on to it for another 400 years, and just because the museums hang up the holy ones, doesn’t mean YOU like that raggedy look!
- When traveling, you opt to stay in the room one night because the new guy who moved into the bunk below you kept eyeballing your newly purchased lederhosen, and there’s no way you’re going to let that creep run off with them (after you just spent 45 minutes haggling with a man who kept drenching you with a shower of spit.)
- You buy a backup of each memorial shot glass so that in case the one you have on display breaks, you will have another one to remember the occasion by. Hey, when you say you have a shot glass from every state, you mean every state. Just because Hawaii was the last state to join doesn’t mean it’s going to be the first to leave!
- When you have guests over (twice a year), you immediately have to give them a tour of al of the new items you’ve picked up, like you are a guide at the Met or something. It only gets worse, after you’ve consumed half a bottle of wine and then proceed to show them your family photographs from 1880, fawning over relatives you never met.
- You don’t let your best friend Magdalena from high school ever stay with you, even though she now lives 5296 miles away, because you remember her “sticky fingers” and know she’d love to set them onto your Barbie-esque pump collection. So, you pretend that you’ve now become a recluse, and can’t have guests, even though you live alone and have two guest bedrooms.
- You have a concise list and strategy prepared for the next family heirloom meeting (whoever said blood is thicker then water clearly hasn’t seen godmother Ingrid’s Ming vase collection).
- You let your battery powered toothbrush accidentally fall into your heater and in the mad rush in the morning, forgot to retrieve it, and then on the subway (do not) resist the urge to go home. Who cares if you’ll be 50 minutes late to work, the thought of your antique postcard collection from Las Vegas going up in flames after you outbid some old man by $300 is just too much to bear. Oh, and your cats? Yeah.
- Whenever someone mentions that you have too much stuff, you sigh, start combing the room, looking for things you “haven’t used in the past 10 months (years)” and such, move it all into a “going away” pile, only to stare pitifully, remembering how that was your first tube of Chanel lipgloss you bought back in the sixth grade…..
…and the items gravitate back to their spots, the spots that were all clean and shiny, from lack of dust. Boy, did your room just look, for a fraction of a second, so shiny. Wowwww!
So, you “forget” to give them away. Shop for vintage porcelain and other items www.etsy.com/shops/japonicanyc